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Homey in the Haystack

Posted on: September 09, 2008

Homey in the Haystack is an example of why retarded people should never make porn, especially if they are trying to have a storyline and do ‘parody porn’. Like for God’s sake at least have some idea of what it is you are satirizing otherwise people can’t laugh and you can’t have a story, and you waste a lot of time with costumes and idiocy that could be used with hot hardcore sex. The sex itself was hot enough and the chicks were slutty enough that they undershot their potential and lost valuable fuck time preferring instead to waste our time with satire that doesn’t make sense unless you’re some illiterate redneck living in a trailer park (or the impound lot that your trailer happens to be in)

You see, Homey in the Haystack starts you off with a storyline… (and you all know how much I hate storylines in porn) Anyways, this one at first appears that it’s offering something different because they obviously took some time with wardrobe and setting, and the feel kinda reminds you of those Amish folk in the Harrison Ford movie Witness…which is probably generic with any other Amish type movie. Then you find out that they are supposed to be Mormons, not Amish, which is kinda cool because everybody knows how slutty Mormon chicks can be. After all, repression leads to decadence, and those Mormon chicks get so repressed that when they get active they are little energizer fuck-bunnies.

Call me anal retentive (and even tho I dig watching anal sex that’s not what I’m talking about right now) but I hate people confusing their religions/cults when trying to satirize them. Then you find out that these ‘Mormons’ have black slaves…I don’t get why these guys didn’t just make another ’southern plantation owner with black slaves has fuck-fest where southern mistress gets gangbanged by black slaves’ flick…I guess they just wanted to be artsy and instead just showed what retarded time wasting porn producers they are, especially when they have phenomenal fuck talent in their movie, cos the one thing I will say for Homey in the Haystack is that the sex itself (when it happens) is awesome cos the chicks totally know how to fuck, and obviously love cock, as well as getting it on with each other.

The energy of those sex scenes saves Homey in the Haystack from a measly one cock-up, and it gets two cocks-up cos if you fastscan, you will find something to shoot your load to I’m sure.

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